Like I’ve mentioned before, I generally don’t give a fuck about what other people do, as long as it’s not harming me or the people I care about. In turn, I expect the same from my friends and family … leave people the fuck alone and let them do what the fuck they want. Recently, I’ve had a friend who’s been attracted to sleeping with men who clearly have girlfriends. I’ve told her numerous times that she is a home wrecking floozy and needs to stop it. She claims that one of the guys she’s had sex with has a girlfriend that knows what’s up, but “doesn’t care”. Shit I dunno, it’s not my business but we have gone over the rules as to what actions constitutes as being a ho, in our friend circle. My friend’s and I are all entering our late 20s, so we have come up with three simple rules that we all hold each other accountable to, in order to minimize any drama when we decided to embark on our sexcapades.
Sex + Strangers
Out of all my friends, I was the first to have a one night stand. It was very successful and we were all thoroughly impressed by my accomplishment LOL. I met Mr. Sexy at a party, we talked, flirted, did some serious grinding on the dance floor, ended up at his place around 6 in the am, engaged in some delightful, drunken sex and he drove me back to my friend’s place around 8 am. This was acceptable behavior. Hoeish behavior would have been to have sex with this stranger in the following places:
- Club Bathroom
- Any bathroom
- In a car
RULE #1: If you have sex with a stranger in an inappropriate place, you are being a ho. STOP IT
Sex + Stranger + Stranger’s girlfriend/boyfriend
Bestie spots a cutie, conversation ensues, numbers are exchanged. Bestie could then A) Fuck on the first night, which is acceptable as long as Rule #1 is being followed or B) Wait a couple days, weeks, months maybe before having sex. Let’s say either one of these scenarios goes down and after the fact find out the cutie has a girlfriend/boyfriend … welp that’s too bad and not anyone’s problem but the stranger and their partner. Like I said before we are trying to avoid drama here, so having sex with this person is now off-limits. The most important thing to remember here is that knowledge of the partner occurred after the fact. Our friend circle is not okay with people who engage in activities with a person in a relationship knowing that the other person’s partner would be upset about.
RULE #2: If you knowingly have sex with someone who is in a monogamous relationship, you are being a ho. STOP IT
When we all go out as a group, before we leave the house everyone calls out “PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY” Which means you are personally responsible for yourself and your actions. Before I left with Mr. Sexy when I had my one night stand, I made sure that my friends saw who I was leaving with … because I was being personally responsible. We take this most seriously and always make sure that at least ONE person knows who we’re with and/or where we’re going. And as I write this I just thought of a new one that we need to add: text your friend the stranger’s number and/or a pic of the person. All of my closest friends are female, except for my gay husband and we’re all pretty tiny (like 5’5″ and under), so we make sure that we pay attention to our surroundings and try to avoid kidnapping at all costs.
RULE #3: If you are not worried about your personal safety, you are being STUPID. STOP IT
So should anyone in my friend circle (including myself) break these rules and something unfortunate happens, touch love will be the response. As friends, we are all very upfront and completely honest with each other. While we all are going to do what we want regardless, no one is gonna go on “ride or die” mode if one of us was in the wrong. Case in point: I had a friend that was notorious for sleeping with married men … at their houses, in their beds. Luckily, no shit ever popped off with the wives of said men, but if it had she woulda been on her own tryna fix that situation. Not to say that if shit got super dangerous I wouldn’t be a friend and call the cops but I told her I was not gonna get involved with that drama.