Would You Use Your Teeth To Eat Whipped Cream?

I had one pretty serious relationship in my whole life and it last 3.5 years.  Obviously I was devastated when our relationship ended, more because I felt like the last couple of months of our relationship were held together by lies and selfishness.  Anyway, it took me awhile to get over this really because being with him was kinda like a part of my person.  Luckily for me I was in the process of really finding myself and I had fortunately met all the people who are my BEST FRIENDS IN THE WHOLE WORLD.  I’ve never really been a people person and I am quick to cut people out of my life and never look back; I used to say you could lock me in a room with no windows and no doors and I’d be just fine as long as I got some books to read every now and then.  But when I got to know my six best friends, I couldn’t imagine living in a world without them.  PLUS they were there to make sure I didn’t have any Jasmine Sullivan or Waiting to Exhale moments during my break up.  We had broken up December 2, 2008 … I remember the exact date only because it was the day BEFORE (well about an hour to be exact) my 21st birthday …. Weeeeeeeee HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! :-/

And it was almost a year later that I had my first sexual experience with a person other than my ex-boyfriend.  Unfortunately for me, the second person I had sex with in my entire life was probably not the person I should have had sex with.  Why you might ask?  Well because when he went down on me … he bit my clit and I swear he was trying to eat my vagina for a midnight snack. Like excuse me, what are you doing down there?  The GOLDEN RULE OF ORAL SEX has always been be careful with the teeth.  A little sexy nibble is fine, but my lady parts do not appreciate full on scrapping and gnawing.  I mean if I did that to him he’d probably have a fit and be like WTF, so what in the world made him think it was okay to do to me.  I tried to get him to stop and you know show him what to do but he couldn’t take direction, so I had to stop him and refused to let him go anywhere never my sugar box for the rest of the night.  Plus out of the 6.5 people I’ve slept with, he hands down has the smallest dick I’ve ever encountered.  And considering my skepticism about my ex-boyfriend’s goods, I seriously don’t know how I even allowed this sexual encounter to last more than 30 minutes.  Honestly I think it was more about being sexually free since my break up and less about the sex, but that was the worst sex I’ve had in my 24 years of life LOL

Do you use your teeth to eat whipped cream? No you just put it in your mouth and enjoy but OBVIOUSLY he didn’t get the memo.

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Because nobody tells you what happens after college

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Posted in Everyday Life
2 comments on “Would You Use Your Teeth To Eat Whipped Cream?
  1. Interesting and in depth blog! I will be returning! Much love

    Charli
    xo

  2. […] for women everywhere many of use have come in contact with the dreaded “cookie monster” and one of my God Sister’s was no exception. Her problem however is that because she […]

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