This One Time In High School …

“This one time, in high school, I let my boyfriend use the backdoor…

Yep, I sure did and while I don’t regret it … I’ll never do that shit again (pun intended …I guess LOL).  So my first and to-date ONLY serious relationship started the last month of my Junior year of high school.  By all accounts we were a pretty legit (read: typical cliché captain of the basketball team, captain of the cheerleading squad) couple.  We were in LOVE and gave our virginity to each other, you know on the track of being high school sweethearts, we even went to the same college (which we DID NOT plan or do on purpose but people still don’t believe us), but alas we never made it down the altar.

Anyway my boyfriend seemed to think that because he would watch hours and hours of porn that he knew all there was to know about sex.  And because of this fact, I was to go along with whatever he suggested and for the most part I did, not because he wanted me to but because I became curious as well. The summer before we left for college we took a trip to Six Flags with two other couples from our group of friends (we consistent rolled with a group of like 4 other couples, which makes for some interesting stories). We drove up to Valencia, got a hotel for the evening, then we went to Six Flags in the morning. After talking some guy in the parking lot into getting us three rooms, we chilled in the pool til it got dark. Then we went to our room, which had one of those connecting doors, so we just fucked around for awhile doing stupid shit and joking around.

One of our friends was notorious for saying the most obscene things about him and his girlfriend and out of no where he was all “alright well I’m gonna go try and make Julie squirt so don’t fuckin open this door” … well that just set the mood for the rest of the night and I’m assuming this is when my ex-boyfriend got the bright idea that he was gonna experiment with me. A little while later me and my boyfriend are having sex and he’s all “can I try something on you?” And of course I said yea, so he tells me to get on all fours on the bed and I’m like omg what are you doing lol Yea so he goes in the backdoor and all I can say is that its the weirdest feeling ever … I didn’t hurt at all but it didn’t feel good or arousing by any means. Plus it was kinda gross, if you know what I mean so we stopped and took a shower.

This experience taught me two things:
1. If anyone ever asks me for a key to the backdoor, I will politely tell them, sorry that is an exit door only

and (which came to me a year and a half after our 3.5 year relationship ended)

2. Either I have an abnormally large backdoor OR my boyfriends goods were not as GRAND as we both thought

I prefer to believe it is the latter of the two for this simple fact: everything seemed to go as planned, with NO PAIN AND NO LOOB :/


Because nobody tells you what happens after college

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Everyday Life, Relationships
One comment on “This One Time In High School …
  1. […] I’ve slept with, he hands down has the smallest dick I’ve ever encountered.  And considering my skepticism about my ex-boyfriend’s goods, I seriously don’t know how I even allowed this sexual encounter to last more than 30 minutes.  […]

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