Purple Pussy

Unfortunately for women everywhere many of us have come in contact with the dreaded “cookie monster” and one of my godsister’s was no exception. Her problem however is that because she is so jaded from her recent divorce, she occasionally would have sex with this guy, who she refers to a “ninja turtle”, purely because she wanted sex and no one else was available. I too have been guilty of doing this, not with the cookie monster though – I REFUSE. But the difference between our situations was the fact that ninja turtle wanted to be in a relationship with her and took her non-interest in a relationship with him as her “playing games and not knowing what she wants.” Um WHATEVER.

Anyway she and ninja turtle are friends from high school, sometimes they kick it and do boring things. I was invited along with some of her other friends from high school and we decided after having no good ideas to just go to Friday’s. While we were there we some how got into a conversation about sex and relationships (typical of my life). Apparently Ninja Turtle doesn’t date (aka have sex with) Black girls because we have “purple pussies”. I was like oh really? Well, you haven’t seen this pussy and it sho ain’t purple. You don’t understand how much self-control it took for me to look at him and calmly respond with “wow that’s really on a level of self-hate, but that’s your issue and that’s for you to deal with”. Just for clarification: Ninja Turtle is Black and my godsister is white.

He also made the absurd comment that he doesn’t have sex with Asian girls because “they make weird sex noises” and I couldn’t help myself but let him know that he is clearly a crazy person. Now I’m not an Asian woman but I’m sure their “sex noises” are no different from any non-Asian woman’s sex noises.

But the whole Black woman, “purple pussy” thing is even more ridiculous. I’ve seen plenty of vaginas from watching porn and I have yet to see a Black woman (or any woman for that matter) with a purple vagina. I’ve seen baby pink to a very deep red but no purple. First of all, I don’t understand what the HUE of a woman’s vagina has to do with anything at all. And secondly I wanted to tell every woman he comes in the vicinity of that he’s a wack job.  Now I understand thinking that genital are unattractive, because I myself have never seen any naughty bits that I thought were beautiful, I mean that’s where the phrase “bumping uglies” comes from.  I read a good post from Sexually Oriented about a temporary dye that will turn your labia back to a youthful pink  ¬__¬

Why the fuck does the color of my ladies parts matter?!?!  Seriously, I’ve never heard women talking about the color of a man’s penis mattering, so why does the color of a woman’s vagina matter so much to men?  If you know the answer, please fill me in because I am baffled.

Because nobody tells you what happens after college

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Posted in Everyday Life
3 comments on “Purple Pussy
  1. Wow! Ninja turtle sounds like a real dick!

  2. Gabi says:

    I know several men who are afraid of these “purple pussies” i don’t know where this “myth” comes from but there are lots of NINJA TURTLES out there that think the same. Btw. I ate lots of pussies and none of them have been “purple” – nice deep read and swollen but hey mine is deep red when I’m aroused or used some pumping tools.

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